Worth and Walking On

Life is hard.  Meaning is elusive.  Much of the time we will draw our own worth from the things we seem to have little to no control over.  We all carry a burden and at times that weight is crushing.  You work hard, do our best and time after time it just isn't good enough.  The sense of failure can be overwhelming, so what do we do?  How do we face a world where we don't seem to matter, how do we face another day where all your effort and all your hard work have no effect?  How do you keep breathing?

The Christian has the advantage here because we can find actual answers to these questions.  The atheist, the naturalist, they can't provide any real advice that doesn't boil down to picking yourself up by your own bootstraps.  To them there is no meaning in life and so there can be no meaning in our lives.  The Bible tells us a different story.

God doesn't expect success from us, we are never commanded to engineer victory or to be the best we can be at whatever we do; we only have to be obedient and entrust the outcome to Him.  You see in God's economy none of the stuff around us matters in and of itself.  My job is not there to bump up my pride, my skills and abilities are not to be used primarily for myself, my opportunities are not solely to provide for my needs and desires.  We are called to holiness because only that will last.

"Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy." 

(1 Peter 1:13-16)

Of course we should do our best and not slack, of course we should work hard as the things given into our care are a responsibility and a stewardship, but we are not defined by those things and if we never get promoted or if we lose our job entirely it is not the end of the world!  Our job, our real job, is to seek to grow ever closer to our God and King.  Everything else is a means to that end.  Frustrating co-workers can make you more patient, an unqualified boss can teach you obedience and respect for position, never moving into more prominent positions can teach you contentedness and reliance on God, people who fail you can teach you forgiveness, persecution can root truth in our hearts, and being alone can draw you closer to God.

This life is a factory floor, where the raw material of our souls is machined and processed into the very people of God.  When we mistake the process for the purpose we lose sight of the end product.  "But how can we live when we don't depend on our jobs, relationships, etc?" I hear you ask.  It's true that we can't pay the rent or make a car payment with holiness but that job and that paycheck were never what held you up to begin with.

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

(Matthew 6:24-34)

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you.  He's referring in that line to everything He just spoke about: food, clothing, and the days of your life.  God is the one who provides for you!  He gave you that job and if He takes it away He will provide another path.  The journey may be difficult and you may wonder why your road is so rocky but remember the goal!  We will never learn to trust in God if we never have to.  Trials and lean times are necessary as they force us to look to Him.  Our holiness is the point of all this, life is meaningless apart from that one bit of truth!  If your life becomes more difficult than it is likely that your present circumstances were necessary either for your sanctification or for someone else's.

We can go on when everything seems to be falling apart because we know who is holding it all together.  We can keep working when it feels pointless because we know that the point of our existence isn't in that paycheck, or that promotion, or that relationship; it's with God.

"...a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

(2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Okay to Cry

Today I am tired.  Physically yes, but it's one of those days when I'm here in the mud and bogged down in the marsh of apathy; I'm tired.  I know that much of this is fueled by a lack of sleep and a hard day but don't we all occasionally face the mundane nature of life and the frustrations of our own failings from time to time?  It's tiring and I am tired.

Really, if I had to pin a sentence on my feelings at this time I would have to say that the predominant desire right now is to cry.  As a man and a husband I spend a good deal of my time as the pillar, the strong support that blows through problems with the ease of a two-hundred year old tree withstanding a summer storm.  I have to be strong and I'm happy to fulfill that role but we can't be strong all the time.

I don't deny my emotions and I don't ignore my struggles but life demands that we do not bow to them, that we carry that burden as we continue to move forward.  But don't your feet get tired?  Don't your arms get sore?  We can feel the weight of being strong as a pressure behind our eyes and it is in these times that I understand what my female friends mean when they say how tears can be a release.

Crying in this sense is not a sign of weakness or even of a loss of control.  A balloon gets weaker over time, the rubber gets stretched and stressed as the gas inside pushes against it in its never ending quest to dissipate. We humans can't expect to keep all of our feelings and struggles inside without our walls wearing thin eventually.  Eventually you have to acknowledge your emotions or else you'll simply snap.

Sometimes you have to let it out.  The myth is that a strong man has no emotions or is in constant control but every warrior has his limit and it is a sign of wisdom and maturity to admit that.  Whether you find a shoulder to lean on for a few minutes or you scream into a pillow as the cover grows wet you have to find time to simply feel your own pain.  If you don't the pressure will simply build and build until your paper thin walls can't hold together any longer.

BOOM.

Ask anyone who has experienced that explosion, either in themselves or in someone close to them, and you'll see the results.  Pain, damage, hurt.  When we explode, that is when we are out of control.  That is when we are weak.  We so feared our own thoughts and feelings, we gave so much power to our emotions that they grew strong enough to control us.  Think of it like the pressure release valve on your hot water tank.  A little venting from time to time keeps everything manageable and functioning properly.

You don't want to lash out at the ones you love and you don't want to stomp around the house breaking dishes and knocking over chairs.  You might break something important and it will likely not be furniture.  Don't fear sorrow and don't give power to weakness.  Face your fears and let yourself feel your feelings and you will maintain control.

We all want to cry sometimes.  Do yourself a favor and do it.

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Choosing Not to Listen

     We all have temptations. We all have feelings and desires coursing through our bodies and our bloodstreams. It can be difficult to combat. We do have the Holy Spirit within us but though we do feel His presence in our lives it is not often in the same way as the pounding of the heart or the whispering of the mind or the yearning of the flesh. The Spirit speaks to us and the world screams.

     When in the midst of struggle or just in the day to day we all feel like something. I feel like watching a movie, I feel like going out, I feel like doing something I shouldn't; but what is that? Have you ever wondered? Think about that statement, “I feel like...” Your thoughts are clearly separate from that desire as you think about them. This raises the question, is this feeling an expression of your conscious desire or are you experiencing a sensation whose origins are outside of yourself?

     Our bodies do not control us, nor does the world around us and yet we yield command to feelings and to sensations all the time. This thought came to me today as I thought about why I find it so hard to write when writing is something I want so much to do. Why is it that I never feel like writing? More to the point, why do I so often actually feel repelled by the idea? Now some might argue that it is because I don't really want to write (trust me, not true) but this goes beyond that one example. How often do I read my Bible? How often do you? How many excuses do we all make every day and how often do we conveniently fall back asleep and so find ourselves without time? Why do the people of God so often deliberately avoid doing something that is neither painful nor terrible? Why do we fail to pray?

     It would seem that what we are dealing with is the voice of the flesh, that worldly whisper that would drive us from the good and the right. Why it took me so long to think on this I cannot say but we know that we carry with us still the nature of the old man and is it any surprise that he struggles against us? We feel it's push and it's pull on our hearts and mind and it has us convinced that that sensation means something.

     But it doesn't.

     It's just a feeling. That tug on your heart, that pressure in your chest is nothing more than a three-year-old tugging on daddy's ankle as he tries to walk away. We feel it sure, but it has no real power to alter our course. The Christian is free from the controlling influence of sin. We are servants and sons of God now and no longer slaves to evil.

     I have often struggled with how difficult walking in the spirit can be but I think I'm beginning to truly see now that the words of temptation were only loud because I was listening and the hold of the flesh only seemed strong because I rarely tested its grip. The Spirit of God resides within us, we have power available that is greater than anything and can never be exhausted. The devil is the father of lies and what he has wrought in the world works on much the same principle, deception.

     Stop listening. Pull back. Look away.

     Walk free.

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”

(Galatians 5:16-17)

Quick Update

I apologize for the missed posts.  I've been busy and dealing with the Holidays like everyone so I haven't had much time.  I'll be back after the new year so I'll see you then!

-In Christ
Jonathan

To Hang or to be Carried.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

     Life is scary. The afterlife can be worse.

     We can't be certain what will happen in the very next moment, let alone in eternity. We humans are small and weak and scared. We know full well that we have no control at all and so we do everything we can to gain and keep control. We are comforted by any semblance of it and we are very uncomfortable when without it. We like control.

     We don't want to rely on others. We don't want to have any part of the plan be dependent on the actions of another and for a very simple reason. We don't trust anyone but ourselves. If we let anything depend on someone else, that person may fail us. That person may choose to not fulfill their responsibilities and we may find ourselves in trouble. For many of us that is simply too great a risk to take.

     How scary it is then that God asks us to trust Him. We are asked to trust Him in something far bigger than our evening plans or even our marital life; we are told to trust Him with our eternity. It can be scary. This is the reason so many people have a hard time understanding grace. Surely there is something we have to do, surely there is something I have to prove, or some ritual I can perform. Surely I can earn my place in Heaven because if I can earn it, if it is mine by right, then I can demand it. If I can demand it then it is due me and if it is due me than it is mine by right, but God's plan is different.

“The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble; And He knows those who trust in Him.”

(Nahum 1:7)

     He doesn't provide us a ladder that we can climb to Heaven. God doesn't allow us the luxury of merit or even exchange. God requires trust. We must trust Him. The one thing that is required of us is the one thing that so many of us are so terrified to give, trust. We are asked to sit in the palm of His hand and simply accept that we will not fall off. He carries us and He cares for us and He has us firmly and securely in His safe embrace and the best part of it is that He can be trusted.

     Unlike so many others who have come and gone in our lives, He can be trusted. Unlike the parent who wasn't there when you needed them, He can be trusted. Unlike the the wife who left you, He can be trusted. Unlike the friends who abandoned you, or the boyfriend who hurt you, or the boss who mistreats you, or the doctor who failed you, or your own traitor heart, or the cold impersonal world that rejected you, He can be trusted!

“Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him.”

(Proverbs 30:5)

     In His hands you are safe. In His heart you are home. We need not fear betrayal from the one whose very name is love. He who died that we may live is worthy of all of our trust.

Before us lies the choice. Do we tire our arms in the ceaseless need to hang on to the cliff edge, too weak to pull ourselves up and too scared to look down? Or do we listen to Father and let go, trusting that He will catch us? Must we hang on or are we willing to be carried? Our fear of trusting Him keeps us from a simple truth, to trust and to have that trust repaid is a glorious thing. Ask anyone in a faithful committed marriage and they will tell you that having just that one person who is always there changes your whole life.

     Do you think you're strong enough? How badly do you need control? Are you honest enough to admit that you've never really had any? The God of all that is will never betray you, never let you down, never turn out to be less than you had hoped. He is and forever will be everything you've ever wanted, needed, and more.

Will you trust Him?

I know not where the path may lead,

How dark the way that I must tread;

My feet may walk on fragrant mead,

Or midst deep bogs that ’round them spread.

But this I know, whate’er betide,

I need not fear nor walk alone;

I still may have One at my side,

And feel my hand within His own.

I may not have strength of my own,

To do the task before me laid;

Heart shrink to make the fight alone

Against the foe I see arrayed.

But this I know, whate’er the task,

Or foe that seeks my soul’s alarm,

I need not fear; I need but ask

The helpful strength of His strong arm.

I may not know what waits the day,

Nor part the veil that hangs between;

I may not glimpse one golden ray

Upon the further distant scene.

But this I know, if with my best

I played the part I had to play,

’Tis safe to leave to Him the rest,

For His own time, in His own way.

“The Lord is Our Trust”

Words by. Will M. Maupin, 1921

A Proverbial Request

     An honest plea. Truly honest. A request not born of lust or desire, not fed by greed or covetousness; a question that looks inward as well as outward with clarity. Have you ever heard such a request? Have you ever asked such a question?

     We want many things: new cars, new houses, new toys, a better job, a better life! We want and we want and we desperately shove an endless stream of objects and accolades into the gaping hole in our heart in our mad need to fill the void. And yet we are empty still. Even we who should be seeking the face of God find ourselves caught up in the hunt for more.

     But what do we need?

     What is truly best for us in this life? What is a good life? I think the answer is found in the Bible -of course- and in the book of Proverbs specifically.

“Two things have I required of thee; deny me them not before I die: Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.”

(Proverbs 30:7-9)

     Here we read the words of a man named Agur the son of Jakeh, who he was and from what tribe he came we do not know but just read those few verses again! Two things and two things only does he ask: to be free from evil and to have what is needed; simple things. He does not ask for fine clothing or a comfortable home. He does not ask for wealth or fame or prominence. This man simply wants to be righteous and to be content.

     How close do we get to evil? The word translated vanity is “shawv” and has a range of meanings from destructive evil to simple uselessness. Agur wants to be far from this, removed entirely and beyond sight. I think we tend to dance close to the line. If we are to be righteous then we must love that which is good and we love love! However we forget that hatred has it's place. If we truly love good we must hate -hate- evil. We, like Agur, shouldn't want it within us, in front of us, in back of us, within a hundred miles of us! Lord remove from us evil and the love of it!

Neither poverty nor riches he asks. He goes on to explain himself saying that to be rich and fat is to forget our need for God and to be poor and starving can lead to sin for the sake of survival which dishonors God as well. May I have enough, he says; enough and no more, enough and no less.

     Are we okay with enough? How much of our endless march up the corporate ladder stems from a true desire to provide for our families and how much of is simple greed and desire? Do you need that promotion, do you need that bonus? Are they worth skipping church, skipping recitals, skipping dinner? Are you trying to do your best or are you simply unwilling to trust in God to provide?

     Do your work, do it as well as you can and if He blesses you with more be grateful. If He does not then be thankful still for you have what you need.

     Lord may I be a righteous man. Lord may I lay my trust on you for myself and for my family. Lord I ask not for riches or for glory, nor for fame or ease, but may my life be one that honors you. May my life be a song of praise and an image of faith in motion.   Amen.

Caught in the Grey

     So given the tone that's been set for this election season it's easy to point out that people love to polarize things. We don't like topics to be ...fuzzy. Everything makes so much more sense and becomes so much simpler when we lay it all out in obvious black and white terms. Unfortunately life simply isn't that cut and dry and more often than we'd like we find ourselves dealing with topics that seem devoid of clear absolutes. Luckily we have a tried and true tactic for dealing with these situations, pretend!

     Yes, when things get difficult or complicated many of us find that the best thing to do is just take the fuzzy edges and curved lines and force them into straight, organized, neat little categories. Instead of acknowledging the complex nature of the issue we simply cover our ears and sing la la la until the problem goes away. Of course the problems never really go away but if we keep singing that tune long enough and loud enough we'll gather a whole choir together and we can all sing together making it that much harder to hear anyone else.

     Unfortunately we Christians are just as guilty of this as anyone. Frankly it's easy to understand why, complex topics are difficult to deal with. There are many things that God has laid out neatly and obviously in the Bible. Murder, theft, lying, disobedience, selfishness, homosexuality, etc. The list goes on and on. However, there are a great many things that are either not as clear cut or simply not covered at all.

     So instead of taking the time to know and understand what the Bible actually says on these topics and stopping there, we take our own opinions and cultural norms and enforce them as law. We allow for no wiggle room, no fuzzy edges, and no grace. We can see this clearly by looking back at past standard of appearance. I'm sure you've all heard stories from back in the day when men were constantly checked for hair length and women who wore anything but dresses and skirts were covered in disapproving stares.

     The problem with that kind of thing is of course, who gets to set the standard? The law to ancient Israel does say a thing or two about women not wearing men's clothing and vice versa (Deuteronomy 22:5) but this was in a culture where everyone wore what we might consider a dress by modern reckoning. The point isn't that a girl can't wear pants or that kilts are an abomination, ultimately pants are not considered men's only anymore so a woman wearing them is just wearing women's pants.

     Now I'm not going to run down a list of fuzzy topics but I'm sure you can think of a few. What we need to remember is that truth -real truth- begins and ends with the Word of God. If the Bible doesn't clearly lay it out in no uncertain terms than be willing to give a little. If it isn't illegal, immoral, indecent, or clearly sinful, then give people the benefit of the doubt and maybe talk to them about before running them down.

     The Black and the White are comfortable categories because we don't have to think. We are not called to mindlessness though, we are called to be wise and loving. We are called to be child like not child-ish. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8) and humility kills a million arguments. We are none of us perfect so give the people around you a little latitude and get comfortable with the fuzzy, with the unclear, and with the imprecise. There are many things to stand firmly on to be sure, but lets be sure we're defending God's standard and not our own.