Okay to Cry

Today I am tired.  Physically yes, but it's one of those days when I'm here in the mud and bogged down in the marsh of apathy; I'm tired.  I know that much of this is fueled by a lack of sleep and a hard day but don't we all occasionally face the mundane nature of life and the frustrations of our own failings from time to time?  It's tiring and I am tired.

Really, if I had to pin a sentence on my feelings at this time I would have to say that the predominant desire right now is to cry.  As a man and a husband I spend a good deal of my time as the pillar, the strong support that blows through problems with the ease of a two-hundred year old tree withstanding a summer storm.  I have to be strong and I'm happy to fulfill that role but we can't be strong all the time.

I don't deny my emotions and I don't ignore my struggles but life demands that we do not bow to them, that we carry that burden as we continue to move forward.  But don't your feet get tired?  Don't your arms get sore?  We can feel the weight of being strong as a pressure behind our eyes and it is in these times that I understand what my female friends mean when they say how tears can be a release.

Crying in this sense is not a sign of weakness or even of a loss of control.  A balloon gets weaker over time, the rubber gets stretched and stressed as the gas inside pushes against it in its never ending quest to dissipate. We humans can't expect to keep all of our feelings and struggles inside without our walls wearing thin eventually.  Eventually you have to acknowledge your emotions or else you'll simply snap.

Sometimes you have to let it out.  The myth is that a strong man has no emotions or is in constant control but every warrior has his limit and it is a sign of wisdom and maturity to admit that.  Whether you find a shoulder to lean on for a few minutes or you scream into a pillow as the cover grows wet you have to find time to simply feel your own pain.  If you don't the pressure will simply build and build until your paper thin walls can't hold together any longer.

BOOM.

Ask anyone who has experienced that explosion, either in themselves or in someone close to them, and you'll see the results.  Pain, damage, hurt.  When we explode, that is when we are out of control.  That is when we are weak.  We so feared our own thoughts and feelings, we gave so much power to our emotions that they grew strong enough to control us.  Think of it like the pressure release valve on your hot water tank.  A little venting from time to time keeps everything manageable and functioning properly.

You don't want to lash out at the ones you love and you don't want to stomp around the house breaking dishes and knocking over chairs.  You might break something important and it will likely not be furniture.  Don't fear sorrow and don't give power to weakness.  Face your fears and let yourself feel your feelings and you will maintain control.

We all want to cry sometimes.  Do yourself a favor and do it.

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4